Posted on 2:46 PM by Tony Spunk
Happy MLK day America. MLK was the bodacious gentleman who had a dream that all the races of the world could live together in perfect harmony. Or was that Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson, I get confused? Anyway, we're all pink underneath guys, let's get along for Mr. King.
So what have I been up to this past week? Well earthquakes have featured heavily in my life for two reasons. One, my old buddy Henri was in Haiti visiting family when the quake struck. He's okay and his family are fine apart from his uncle Jesus who lost a finger and his pants (he was on the toilet when the shit went down taking his walls with it). According to Henri, Jesus is convinced the quake was caused by some dude called Papa Loumau whom he stole a dog from in 1976 and who likes to mess with voodoo.
I don't ask questions, I just walk away.
The second reason quakes are a part of my life this week is Pedro and I took part in a Haiti benefit show with a host of other local sparkly acts. The benefit made a shitload of cash and pulled in half-wasted tourists and gamblers from all over the place who were happy to pay $20 for a daiquiri if it helped some homeless Haitian get a meal for his family. So thanks to those guys for their generosity. And to the dude in the pink crop top and high waist flares who admired my organ, I meant it man, "Shannon" is a lovely name for a dude and I'm sure you're totally straight and only accidentally grazed my butt cheeks with the palm of your hand..
And thanks also to Jennifer, the lovely lady from Salt Lake City who gave some charity to old Tony in the form of letting The Captain get acquainted with her Pink Princess in the cloakroom behind the dancefloor. She was a pretty loud lady, old Jennifer. She sounded like Martha Stewart impersonating a ghost.
I have a bit of a lust thing for Martha Stewart I don't care who knows it. I'd like to make that woman scream my name in the worst possible way and make her forget all about matching bedroom sets. Sure she's old and crotchety but man the thought of her bouncing around on my lap makes me grow a third leg.
Peace out guys.