Iron Maiden

Posted on 12:13 PM by Tony Spunk

Well hey there you sweet little blog buddies. I'm pretty much peeing my big boy pants at the excitement that anyone's actually following me. I mean seven of you. And you're not even convicts or anything I don't think. Even though that following business sounds way creepy, like y'all might chloroform me while I'm walking home some dark night in my best satin stage shirt and tight pants, because you can no longer resist my impressive mustache.

Talking of which, last night Pedro and I played the weirdest show of my career so far and believe me when I tell you, I've played some doozies. This gig was at a hospital, actually taking place in a physical therapy unit and the show was to commemorate a new hospital wing. It was kind of creepy actually seeing my giant blue organ standing proudly erect among all that medical equipment and stuff.

The place was all done up in blue and silver and featured lots of people in collar braces, slings and plaster casts. It was heaving with gimpy action. Lots of staggering and swaying and people falling over with alarmed looks on their faces. It would've been rude to laugh though so I just pretended I was having a coughing jag. I'm pretty polite like that.

They wouldn't let those people have booze either which sucks, because if there's ever a group of people who deserve to get righteously plastered, it's them. As it was, the only plastering going on was on broken legs.

I met a hot sassy lady at this shindig. Jean was her name. Probably still is. Jean was a looker, at least I think so. It was hard to tell because she was in an iron lung. I ain't fussy though. She had a pretty face. Unless she's harboring the body of Godzilla under that thing, I'd say she's a cutie. I got her number. Once she can breathe again I might offer to shake her maracas for her. I think she was a little surprised and confused when I asked for her number, because the first time I asked she said, "My aunt ran over me with her Buick."

Of course she could be a little brain damaged. That's ok though, it's not like I've never dated a crazy before. Even loonies need love, you dig?


ClaireMontgomeryMD said...

"my giant blue organ standing proudly erect" . . . sounds painful. just sayin'.

Tony Spunk said...

It's when it's standing there erect for more than four hours you have to worry, sweet cheeks!

Dan said...

We follow because you are funny and tell a good tale. Nothing creepy about that. And more will follow suit, I am sure of that.

So when you have a hundred followers, slavishly awaiting every word, remember us original seven, those that were here from the start.

Tony Spunk said...

You know man, I've been slipping lately. I've been in a dry writing spell. And waffling a lot. It's kinda lame. But now my ego is soaring so thanks.

Anonymous said...

it's true. it's getting harder and harder to resist that stach of yours! >:3
and your a good man, tony.
'even loonies need love-'
that's something my ex used to tell me all the time! O_O

Tony Spunk said...

Honey, some of my best lady friends are missing a few vital brain parts. I say that lovingly, really. Crazy girl equals demon in the sack. It's sexist but it's true. Of course you don't want those gals around your johnson while you're asleep.