Posted on 11:42 PM by Tony Spunk

So my hot date with Josephine. I was fully prepared to come on here and write you fine people a little something about that today, then I woke up and thought, "Meh, maybe tomorrow.", rolled over and went right back to sleep. I'm fucked, what can I tell you? I feel like a guy who just ran a marathon with his pecker.

Josephine was a girl with a lot of energy. I know I'd been away from the ladies for a whole week and all but really...she was unusually energetic. Like sort of scarily energetic.

We met at this quiet little bar for drinks at midnight and I dutifully sat there with her for an hour drinking White Russians and feeling my ass chafing in that damn leopard g-string I bought for the date, while she told me politely about her job as a dental hygenist. I couldn't concentrate on that for the g-string business. Never again, seriously. My ass was raw, man! It was like having a barbed wire wedgie or something. Not cool.

The alcohol took my mind off it a little bit, plus the fact I was sitting opposite THE most bodacious set of gazungas God ever placed on this green Earth, helped a ton too. Also old Josephine laughs really easy. She likes jokes - even MY jokes - and she laughs heartily, which is awesome because the harder she laughs the harder her stupendous bosom jiggles. Lord have mercy!

I was just starting to wonder how to go about moving things on to the next stage as my pants were unfeasibly tight suddenly and the Captain was jumping around like a Mexican jumping bean in there, when she moved round my side of the table and stuck her tongue right down my throat without warning. Man, I think I broke some kind of record for departing the premises. I'd dragged her out and into the car in about two seconds. I knew we weren't making it back to my pad so I pulled into the "excess flow" parking lot at the back and we went for it there and then.

That girl has no scruples at all. For real, her hands were everywhere. She was like the female ME. One minute my hand's on her ass and my tongue's in her mouth and the next my pants are round my ankles and she's bare-assed naked on my lap. Holy shit. She was going like crazy too. "OH OH OH SHIT!" she yelled after a minute or so of bouncing around.

"Yeah baby!" I said, "You're almost there! You go girl!"

"No..." she said, "I just slammed my head off the ceiling and it fucking hurt!"

So yeah that sort of dampened things for a second but it took even less than that for her to get back to it. I kindly lowered the seats a little. I like my ladies conscious although you know, any port in a storm. I'm kidding. Anyway, I wasn't even doing anything by this time just letting her use me like a human dildo or something.

Afterwards we drove to her place and instead of saying goodnight, she dragged me inside and goddamn if she didn't expect me to do it all again. The Captain groaned and it's not often that happens. I still managed to plough her field though - The Spunk still got the magic, y'all. I didn't let you down.

I wouldn't swear or anything but when I was driving home afterwards I'm sure I saw smoke coming out of my fly. Probably the Captain smoking a cigarette. Dude earned it!