Arriba! Forgive old Spunko won't you guys, I am a little bit toasted from drinking some potent little fuckers called "Bombarderos". Basically it's a highball glass with a shot each of the following: Scotch, vodka, tequila, gin and some kind of weird foreign bitters, filled to the brim with ice, lemon juice and Sprite. After a couple of those you are so bombed you would find your own mom attractive if she bent over in a denim mini skirt.

Not to mention the lady cop who stops your wasted ass on the way home. She was hawt stuff folks. Well she was hot after four bombarderos, at least. Something about a lady who's packing and stacking that gets the juices flowing. She had a giant ass you could bounce tennis balls off. Or any kind of balls you wish, to be brutally honest. I can think of some balls I'd like to bounce off that badonkadonk.

Oddly enough, asking if she wished to finger my gun got me cuffed. Well the joke's on you lady cuz I don't have a freaking gun, I was referencing my cock.

I wasn't driving during any of this, I hasten to add. The Mexican was in charge of that chore. He's under doctor's orders to lay off the booze while he's taking some antibiotics. This is fine with me. I get to charm the ladies and drink the refreshing beverages all on my lonesome, while he drives me home and puts me to bed.

Damn assladycop gave us a ticket for a busted headlight. I refrained from any more jokes regarding her own headlights, which, let me tell you, were shining pretty bright, if you get my meaning.

Ain't it sweet.

(Hey, has my gibberish alien code disappeared yet?)