You know who's a Tony Spunk kinda gal? That chick from "Dream Girls". Not Beyotchy or whatever the hell her name is, but that other chick, with the enormous 'come-hither-to-Tony' rack. The rack that tremors like an enormous jello with every step. Jennifer Hudson is it? Chickadee who won the Oscar? I'd give that chick an Oscar. An Oscar Mayer. Some grade A prime meat!

And by 'meat' I totally mean my penis!

Sometimes a chick can just carry off that little extra baggage, know what I'm saying? If a gal's hip bones stick out like tent poles that ain't a chick, that's a dude. And if I wanted to feel up a dude I'd just slide into the bathroom, jettison the polyester pants and reach for the Nivea. A gal should have a little oh la la about her in her tooshie area. Tony Spunk likes to grab a couple handfuls of goodies you dig, he ain't so keen on bruising his knuckles on some underfed pelvis.

So come on ladies, quit looking at the skeletal hat stands on magazine covers and reaching for the grapefruit and start showing the world that french fries can do wonders for a woman's culito. Tony would tap each and every one of your 'culitos grandes' anyday.