I Am Actually Still Alive

Posted on 9:19 PM by Tony Spunk

Holy hell, here I am again being all delinquent with my updating. There was a time I was a whore for this blogging deal and I'd like to be again only I've been suffering a somewhat dry period. For writing I mean, not for the ladies. I mean there ain't no flying porcine beasts outside, right? No, the ladies are still flowing like a good, chilled wine.

I do realize I sound like a misogynistic asshole sometimes and well, I am. I don't mean to be, honest, it's just that my appreciation for the fine ladies of the Earth is so overwhelming I get carried away and say things that could be construed as vulgar. And actually are. But I mean well, I truly do. See it's all about the appreciation. I appreciate every single day the fact that fair, curvy, spicy ladies of all ethnicities and ripeness like to ride my fleshy pony. I'm thankful to whatever God might be up there that they let a weather beaten old fucker like me touch their smooth ivory (or ebony!) flesh. And if there is a God I bet she's a lady too. A fine lady with an ass like a well filled water balloon.

Is that blasphemous? It's a compliment.

I should point out that Satan is probably also a lady. Namely Sarah Palin.

So yes, stuff's been going on personally and professionally and I do have stories but this here writer's block's been kicking my ass like a basketball player in a bar fight and I can't seem to shake it. The block I mean, not my ass. I can shake that bad boy like Michael J. Fox at a Parkinson's Convention.

That was tasteless huh? Sorry Mikey man. Peace to you, bro. And no hot drinks, okay?

So yeah, Uncle Tony's back and checking you all out. Hi to you new guys following, I am going to stalk you all till the restraining order arrives.

Love.

6 comments:

Jana said...

Hi Tony...you have been missed, yes you have. Good for us that you are back and how. That post was unapologetic and I like it.

Tony Spunk said...

Thank you sweet lady. Tony doesn't apologize (unless it's for his poor performance in the bedroom, though honestly I give my perf my all, you dig?) It's nice to be back. Now to shake that pesky writer's block thing. I'm happy you're here.

Cynnie said...

i cant think of anything to write on my blog , cept whining and complaining ..
urghh

Tony Spunk said...

Hey now, it's better out than in sweet cheeks. That's what she said.

Dan said...

Alright, you old horn dog, you?

Been awhile for myself as well.

Hardly have any time to write either.

Nice to see you are still the same old Mr Spunk though.

Always time for the ladies, right?

Tony Spunk said...

Hey man. I'm busy as a fuck. Really. Being me but in a busy fashion. Hope you're still taking them on headfirst and that your bowels are clean, bro.