Hey little dudes!

Back again after a leisurely few weeks of doing not a whole lot but doing it well. It'll surprise practically none of you to know I am no longer dallying with the lovely Sally. Sadly, she got real serious real fast and while that didn't bother me too much, her rather excessive psychotic tendencies sort of warned me off just a little. Like wanting to know where I was every second of the day and texting me 200 times before lunch. If I didn't respond in a minute, like say I was off taking a gigantic pasta induced dump, she freaked out on my ass. It was scary. It's kind of sad, I really dug that girl while it lasted. But if there's anything a person needs to know about me, it's this. Neediness terrifies me even more than the idea of Sarah Palin becoming the Prez. And y'all know that shrivels my gooseberries faster than a photo of Regis Philbin giving it to a sheep.

Not that I'm suggesting for a second there's any photos out there like that. Photoshop is an evil tool, what can I say?

So that's what's up with that. I still see Sally on occasion, usually when I haven't scoped out a place properly before entering, but I've pulled right back and made it clear there ain't no future in it until she gets some serious meds.

The one good thing to come of it is I get to schtoomp other ladies again. I was actually doing pretty good with the whole monogamy thing but lately my mind's been wandering. And my pecker of course. The Captain was threatening to leave town with all the one woman thing. He's a little dude who likes variety in the vaginas he frequents.

I celebrated last week by bedding the lovely Cecilia from Oklahoma. In town for a short vacation, her girlfriend went and hooked up with a dude who looks like Siegfried of Siegfried & Roy fame's even gayer twin, leaving Cecilia at a bit of a disposition. Until old Tony comes along of course and makes everything better with his sweet manroot of love.

Yeah I said that.

It was also my birthday a week ago and that was my birthday present to myself. Some carnal participation with a hot redhead. Cecilia, it should be noted, was a beautiful person inside and out. And believe me, I've been inside! Heh. She was also pretty misleading, a case of the book definitely not matching the cover. Outside she was all high class society girl type, in expensive dresses and perfume. Like the goody two shoes chick on "Sex and the City".

After a few daiquiris though she turned into a flexible Louisiana whore, which is more than fine by me. Old Cecilia taught me a few things, you dig? That girl can fuck, Jesus Christ, yes. And she might be double jointed. I'm just saying. Either that or she was once an acrobat.

So things are normal again I guess. I'm still a questionably strange looking, lecherous, old fuck and inexplicably hot ladies are still flocking to me. I don't pretend to understand this shit. But thank the Lord I got it.

And that "it" isn't syphilis.

El Spunkarino out.